Salvation, Thy Name Is Oreo
By: Connor Lenahan
Every once in a while you get a piece of news that completely upsets your day. It comes in like a proverbial wrecking ball and makes everything change. Upon checking my Facebook this afternoon I was alerted to a piece of news by Mary Chuff that immediately became the high point of my day. Did I say day? I meant entire existence on this planet.
I’m speaking of the new cookie dough and Rice Krispie flavored Oreos. Take a second to catch your breath/recover from your fainting spell. They are actually making a cookie dough flavored Oreo. They are actually making a Rice Krispie flavored Oreo. This is happening. This immediately becomes one of the best days in American history. Kids in future history classes will learn much about the reveal of the cookieception that is these two snack treats. How could you not? This is revolutionary. Don’t try and pretend that you didn’t get really excited, emotional, and hungry when you heard about these two delights. You did. It happened.
I never knew Oreos would have the ability to make me drop all other plans for the day and write about them, but here we are. It was just last night when my friend Montana was inquiring about my dessert related vice only for me to respond Oreos without missing a beat. I already consumed a package since returning to BU under two weeks ago. I’ll probably eat another package of double stuffed tonight. If they’re mega stuffed they aren’t making their way out of the store. I’m not kidding in the slightest.
Today we have seen the future. The delicious future. Today we have taken a step forward as a society. Today there is no war, no protest, no anger, only joy. Joy over this delectable declaration. On February 3rd the cookies will arrive and on February 4th the world will declare a universal peace treaty. These are facts. Get your milk ready, tasty salvation is almost here.
Connor Lenahan (@ConnorLenahan) is the founder and editor-in-chief of Connorlenahan.com. He is a freshman at Boston University, majoring in journalism. He can be emailed at firstname.lastname@example.org