By: Connor Lenahan
A few years ago I was grabbing food at Taco Bell with my friend Matt Gronsky when the girl working the drive-thru stuck her head out and gave me my officially recognized celebrity doppelganger. She freaked out with excitement because, to her, I looked exactly like Macaulay Culkin. Yes, the kid from Home Alone. The kid who grew up and made headlines by having serious drug issues. I can’t exactly say I was thrilled by this comparison. I similarly wasn’t elated when the drive-thru person called over a co-worker to confirm the look-alike. That really happened. It was hilarious, embarrassing, and traumatizing in a period of thirty-five seconds. The four Doritios Locos Tacos I was about to consume weren’t helping either.
Culkin stands as the look-alike I have been given most often or at least the one the most people can recognize. For years my brothers and I have thought I resembled Chuck Klosterman, one of my all-time favorite writers. Red hair: Check. Glasses: Check. Negative view on the band Coldplay: Check. You could have been convinced we were related.
Early on in college came my personal favorite look-alike. Prefacing the statement by saying “I know you must get this all the time,” despite the fact this was the first time it had ever been suggested, Patrick McKay noted that I looked “exactly like Philip Seymour Hoffman.” This made me really happy because I love Hoffman and have no trouble being compared with the late Oscar winner.
Culkin is another story though. From the minute I heard it my brain jumped to the drugs. Not a happy camper. Then one night I was discussing the resemblance with my friend Sarah Bradley who told me to look at the movie Saved. She loves the movie, which stars Culkin, and told me I more resembled this era of Culkin, the era in which he dated Mila Kunis (this happened), than the drug phase. I looked the other day at photos from the movie and began crying laughing at the photo I’m about to share. This is probably an awful idea, but in the immortal words of Socraties, “do it for the Vine.”
Son of a bitch. If he were wearing tortoise shell glasses in this photo you could convince someone this is either an actual photo of me or a screenshot from the upcoming movie based on my life starring Macaulay Culkin. This is insane. Props to Sarah for helping me discover this. I’m going to go hide in a hole now.
On the upside though, he did date this. Maybe it isn’t all that bad after all.
Connor Lenahan (@ConnorLenahan) is a freshman at Boston University, majoring in journalism. He can be contacted at email@example.com