Attack of the Gobblers


By: Connor Lenahan

Today I was sitting eating Popeye’s chicken when I received a peculiar Snapchat from my good friend Maiya Dempsey. I immediately recognized the location as the exterior of the GSU here at Boston University. What I didn’t recognize was the mysterious creature stalking about the courtyard. Thankfully, Maiya added a caption. “Turkey!”

Now, I’m not going to claim to be an avian expert, however, for as far as my ornithological knowledge goes: Turkeys do not fly.

This raises the question of how did a fairly large turkey make it’s way into downtown Boston, far away from normal turkey habitats? It’s perplexing. It reminds me of the now infamous tale of the shopping cart from a month or so ago that I wrote about on here.

Quickly, word spread around BU that there was in fact a turkey roaming around Commonwealth Ave. Friends of mine spotted it in random places around our mile long campus, including on the BU Bridge as pictured above.

At press time the turkey is still at large. He is reportedly curious and delicious. Be on the lookout for this unexplained mammal on campus the next few days as this story is too hilarious to let die out in an afternoon.

This isn’t an April Fools Joke. I couldn’t be happier. I love this crazy school.

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Quick note: My laptop is undergoing repair the next few days. This would normally spell disaster for me. However, thanks to the kindness of others, tonight being my great friend Montana Rispoli, the streak of articles will not be dying anytime soon. You cannot get rid of me. I am unbreakable, and resourceful as hell.

Thank you again for reading this year. This enters our fourth straight month of posts and it remains one of the most fun things I’ve ever done in my life. I hope you’ve enjoyed the articles so far and you enjoy all the posts to come.