By: Connor Lenahan
There I am minding my own business, driving home from Wegmans with my lunchtime sushi in tow, when I see Matt Gronsky’s name pop up on my screen. Seeing as this is a daily occurrence, I was not shocked. I was a little surprised to see him calling though. Assumedly everything was okay.
Seemingly because the forces above refuse to let me have a boring day things were not okay. Matt, while mowing his lawn, had gotten his mower trapped in the grass. Seriously.
Now before we go and call Gronsky an idiot we need to elaborate on the details of this predicament. Gronsky was not mowing with an old timey piece of steel.
Far from it. He was mowing his lawn with one of the no-kidding-around-grass-decapitating-machines that you can’t so much as breathe on without being reprimanded by a Home Depot employee lawn mowers.
Yeah. Plus Matt quite literally lives on a hill. If you look at the picture at the top of this story you and clearly see that Matt has an extreme incline. Even a nightmare inducing mower like the one he was riding could handle a 75-80 degree slope alone. That’s what got him stuck.
Matt was panicking as he couldn’t leave this lawn care beast unattended or else his father, the legendary Dr. Joseph Gronsky, would kill him. Therefore, Matt called me. I delayed my sushi inhalation to make sure he would not be strangled at the hands of America’s premiere dentist.
I enlisted the help of Bub, my grandfather, to help Gronsky out. Seeing as I am terrified of machinery and without a vehicle that could properly tow Gronsky’s behemoth mower, I was far from the man for this job. Bub on the other hand came to the rescue with his bull of a pickup truck. His 2001 Chevy pickup, which is older than a few of his own grandchildren, yanked Gronsky and the beast from the grass. All was right with the world.
This was an odd way to spend the afternoon. I thought to myself as I shoveled multiple spicy shrimp rolls into my mouth that this is the kind of thing that doesn’t happen in college. At least not for me, because Boston University doesn’t have enough grass to necessitate a mower that could wipe out a large section of the ant community in just a few seconds.
I think I need to head back to the city. This might be a sign. Operation Grassy Tug was a success. My work here is done.
Connor Lenahan (@ConnorLenahan) is a sophomore at Boston University, majoring in journalism. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org