Chicken + Fries = America


By: Connor Lenahan

There is not a person I know that understands why Chicken Fries ever disappeared from the Burger King menu. They were flawless. They were delicious. They weren’t nutritious, but dammit, that doesn’t matter. Chicken Fries were an amazing addition into these United States we call America. Then they were gone. Far too soon. The loss was tragic. It hit us all in the heart and the tummy.

Then the rumblings came. Not just from my belly in need of a snack, but from different news outlets. They were all playing with a dangerous headline. Reporting that Chicken Fries would be returning to the world is a big deal. This is not something to joke with. If these reports turned out to be false there would be hell to pay.

Earlier this evening I walked to my local Burger King to investigate these rumors. I hadn’t seen any Instagram pictures from my friends around the world of the supposedly available Chicken Fries, so my optimism was kept in check.

Then I arrived. I rolled into the front door only to be greeted by a gigantic cartoon chicken. It was true. I almost shed a tear before remembering I was in a Burger King.

I obtained an order of the delicious sticks of chicken before rushing home to my room to consume them. I was saddened that “I’ve Got A Golden Ticket” was not scoring my jog back to my room from the fast food establishment.

When I arrived home to my living quarters I proceeded to snap the above photo before devouring the fries at an incredible clip. They were as good, if not better, than I ever remembered. In that moment, we were infinite, and eating Chicken Fries yet again.

Days are brighter. Smiles wider. Why? Because once again the blessing of Chicken Fries is upon us.