The Simpsons Bracket: Day 5 – Marge’s Time to Shine

By: Connor Lenahan

Previously: Moe’s Tavern Region / Nuclear Plant Region / Springfield Elementary Region / Lard Lad Donuts Region

Just as the marathon of The Simpsons heads out of it’s classic period, the bracket gets stronger. Today gives us some of the best episodes in history. The best of the best. Strap in, this is going to be a fun one. Here is the Krusty Burger region.

As always, the seedings are random and mean nothing, while we also won’t waste time when a classic faces a scrub.

Round 1:

Outright Victories:

“Some Enchanted Evening” over “The Devil Wears Nada,” “This Little Wiggy” over “Tis’ the Fifteenth Season,” “Homer Alone” over “At Long Last Leave,” “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” over “The Trouble With Trillions,” “Marge vs. the Monorail” over “Children of a Lesser Clod,” “Treehouse 3” over “In the Name of the Grandfather,” “Moaning Lisa” over “The Wettest Stories Ever Told,” “Lisa the Greek” over “The Bart of War,” “Thursdays with Abie” over “The Haw-Hawed Couple,” “Homer the Whopper” over “The Ned-liest Catch,” “Simple Simpson” over “Mona Leaves-a,” “Cape Feare” over “Trash of the Titans,” “The Telltale Head” over “Eeny Teeny Maya Moe,” “Little Girl in the Big Ten” over “Pranks and Greens,” “C.E.D’oh” over “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star,” “Lisa the Simpson” over “Bonfire of the Manatees,” “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” over “24 Minutes,” “A Streetcar Named Marge” over “Marge’s Son Poisoning,” “Like Father, Like Clown” over “Double, Double, Boy in Trouble,” “Three Men and a Comic Book” over “The Mansion Family,” “Dog of Death” over “Brawl in the Family,” “Realty Bites” over “Bart Gets a ‘Z’,” “The Old Man and the Lisa” over “The Heartbroke Kid.”

Coin Flips:

“Milhouse of Sand and Fog” over “The Real Housewives of Fat Tony,” “Tennis the Menace” over “Three Gays of the Condo,” “500 Keys” over “My Big Fat Geek Wedding,” “Missionary: Impossible” over “The Ziff Who Came to Dinner.”

Matchups:

“Kamp Krusty” over “My Sister, My Sitter” – I totally forgot about a line from “Kamp Krusty” until it came on during the marathon the other day. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment when Mr. Black toasts “gentlemen, to evil!” I was on the floor.

“Simpson Safari” over “Future-Drama” – Am I the only one who looks for a solid gold animal cracker in the box? Yes? Whatever.

“Who Shot Mr. Burns” over “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish” – Okay this one stings. Watching Homer spend what he believes are the last hours of his life doing everything he wants to do before listening to the Bible on tape is just beautiful. That said, the story of “Who Shot Mr. Burns” is so incredible and laugh out loud funny that it cannot lose this early.

“Mother Simpson” over “Homer and Apu” – “Homer and Apu” is terrific, but “Mother Simpson” is an all time hilarious tearjerker.

“Moe Baby Blues” over “The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace” – I can actually remember watching “Moe Baby Blues” for the first time and laughing hysterically. “Moe Baby Blues” may very well be the funniest episode of the last ten years.

 

Round 2:

Outright Victories:

“This Little Wiggy” over “Some Enchanted Evening,” “Homer Alone” over “Milhouse of Sand and Fog,” “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” over “Tennis the Menace,” “Moaning Lisa” over “500 Keys,” “Simpson Safari” over “Thursdays with Abie,” “Simple Simpson” over “Homer the Whopper,” “Mother Simpson” over “The Telltale Head,” “A Streetcar Named Marge” over “Like Father, Like Clown,” “Three Men and a Comic Book” over “Dog of Death,” “Realty Bites” over “The Old Man and The Lisa.”

Matchups:

“Marge vs. the Monorail” over “Treehouse 3” – This was a clear victory, but I wanted to shout out one of the best lines in any medium ever in “…he was a zombie?” from “Treehouse 3.” Perfection.

“Kamp Krusty” over “Lisa the Greek” – “Kamp Krusty” was apparently being written as a feature length movie before being converted into an episode. I would do anything in this world to have a feature length version of “Kamp Krusty” and Bart’s mutiny of the camp.

“Cape Feare” over “Who Shot Mr. Burns” – …You’ve got to be kidding me. This is painful. Two of maybe the five best episodes ever. This could have been the final matchup and it would have been a showdown for the ages. Yet here we are. Cape Feare takes an atomically small edge for a fairly unfair reason. It takes half an hour to tell a perfect story while “Who Shot Mr. Burns” takes two. The second half hour of which is slightly weaker than the first. That’s just enough to let Sideshow Bob jump by.

“Missionary: Impossible” over “Little Girl in the Big Ten” – “Save me Jebus!!” The number of times I have screamed that while in distress is impossible to count, but damn is it good.

“Moe Baby Blues” over “C.E.D’oh” – So help me if this isn’t a perfect game by Homer. Every single line he has is perfect. It makes me love the episode all the more. Seriously, watch this episode.

“Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” over “Lisa the Simpson” – It’s a fight between Lisa at the height of her powers fighting to make Lisa Lionheart versus thinking her powers are fading due to the Simpson Gene. The former wins out for somehow pulling off not just a parody of the Barbie doll, but having Grandpa go on a rampage in a toy store.

 

Round 3:

 

Matchups:

“Homer Alone” over “This Little Wiggy” – Homer trying to find Maggie after losing her is too perfect. When he calls the missing child hotline only to have “Baby Come Back” meet him is inspired. I love it.

“Marge vs. the Monorail” over “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” – “Does whiskey count as beer?”

“Kamp Krusty” over “Moaning Lisa” – “They fed us gruel! They forced us to make wallets for export and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!”

“Simple Simpson” over “Simpson Safari” – Homer makes a shockingly good super hero, and I always laugh at Ralph at the bacon factory.

“Cape Feare” over “Mother Simpson” – No episode has had a harder path thus far than “Cape Feare,” but that speaks to how incredible it is. Would like to shout out the ending of Homer sitting on his car looking into the night sky after his mother leaves, but this time with a proper good bye. Other than “And Maggie Makes Three” this is the best ending to an episode ever.

“Moe Baby Blues” over “Missionary: Impossible” – Isn’t it great to see Moe happy?

“A Streetcar Named Marge” over “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” – All this time later and the “Streetcar” musical is still amazing and crazily catchy.

“Three Men and a Comic Book” over “Realty Bites” – It’s entirely too easy to relate to the feuding over something trivial over as a comic book as my brothers and I still do that and the youngest of us is a sophomore in high school.

 

Round 4:

Matchups:

“Marge vs. the Monorail” over “Homer Alone” – “I call the big one Bitey.”

“Kamp Krusty” over “Simple Simpson” – Lisa’s letter home crying out for help is a work of sheer brilliance that is both terrifying and giggle inducing.

“Cape Feare” over “Moe Baby Blues” – “I think he’s talking to you.”

“A Streetcar Named Marge” over “Three Men and a Comic Book” – Few moments better display Maggie’s brilliance beyond her years (and then some) than when she repeatedly tries to break out of the Ayn Rand School for Tots. It’s wonderful.

 

Round 5:

Matchups:

“Marge vs. the Monorail” over “Kamp Krusty” – “Donuts, is there anything they can’t do?”

“Cape Feare” over “A Streetcar Named Marge” – “Bartdoyouwannaseemynewchainsawandhockeymask!?!?”

 

Round 6:

 

Matchups:

“Cape Feare” over “Marge vs. the Monorail” – Two of the most incredible half hours in television history. Again, two of the five best Simpsons episodes ever. There is no way to pick between them without pain. The edge here is going to fall just narrowly with “Cape Feare.” This episode is just perfect for every second of it. It’s sharp, funny, and makes half an hour feel like two hours. Small moments are killer – “Oh no, Dad’s been drugged.” “No he hasn’t.” Don’t get it wrong, “Marge vs. the Monorail” is perfect, it’s just missing one thing. That thing is Sideshow Bob.

Coming tomorrow, the Kwik-E-Mart Reigon (The Bracket of Death).