The Simpsons Bracket: Day 6 – The Group of Death


By: Connor Lenahan

Previously: Moe’s Tavern Region / Nuclear Plant Region / Springfield Elementary Region / Lard Lad Donuts Region / Krusty Burger Region

We have now reached the group of death in this bracket experiment. The today’s region, the Kwik-E-Mart, somehow found a way to get classic after classic despite the episodes being selected by a random number generator. This one is going to get intense. Here we go, the Kwik-E-Mart region.

As always, the seedings are random and mean nothing, while we also won’t waste time when a classic faces a scrub.

Round 1:

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Outright Victories:

“You Kent Always Say What You Want” over “Dial N for Nerder,” “Homer the Heretic” over “Bart the Genius,” “Bart Gets an Elephant” over “Moms I’d Like to Forget,” “Homer’s Triple Bypass” over “Homer the Moe,” “Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind” over “Coming to Homerica,” “Eight Misbehavin’” over “MoneyBART,” “Bart Sells His Soul” over “Donnie Fatso,” “Burns Verkaufen” over “Crook and Ladder,” “The Computer Wore Menace Shoes” over “Treehouse 21,” “Last Exit to Springfield” over “Home Away from Homer,” “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” over “Jaws Wired Shut,” “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” over “See Homer Run,” “Treehouse 7” over “I’m Spelling as Fast as I Can,” “Natural Born Kissers” over “The Homer of Seville,” “King-Sized Homer” over “The Bart Wants,” “Lady Bouvier’s Lover” over “A Star is Born Again,” “The Squirt and the Whale” over “Rome-old,” “A Fish Called Selma” over “Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold,” “Dancin’ Homer” over “Yokel Chords,” “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” over “Milhouse Doesn’t Live Here,” “Bart’s Girlfriend” over “Flaming Moe.”

Coin Flips:

“It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Marge” over “Homer vs. Dignity,” over “Ice Cream of Margie” over “Little Orphan Millie,” “Another Simpsons Clip Show” over “Lost Verizon,” “Homerazzi” over “The Falcon and the D’ohman,” “Lisa the Drama Queen” over “The Regina Monologues,” “Treehouse 16” over “Springfield Up,” “Bart-Mangled Banner” over “Midnight RX,” “Smart and Smarter” over “Pranksta Rap,” “Pokey Mom” over “Dude, Where’s My Ranch?”


“Mr. Plow” over “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” – It’s not fun to eliminate Herb Powell and “The Homer” this early, but “Mr. Plow” is a beast.

“Sweets and Sour Marge” over “The Dad Who Knew Too Little” – The latter of these two is a pretty funny episode and really gives an interesting dynamic to the Homer & Lisa relationship. But I cannot get over how perfect Ben Stiller is, plus the Oompa Loompa.


Round 2:

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Outright Victories:

“Mr. Plow” over “You Kent Always,” “Homer the Heretic” over “Sweets and Sour Marge,” “Eternal Moonshine” over “Eight Misbehavin’,” “Bart Sells His Soul” over “Another Simpsons Clip Show,” “Burns Verkaufen” over “Homerazzi,” “The Computer Wore Menace Shoes” over “Lisa the Drama Queen,” “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” over Treehouse 16,” “King-Sized Homer” over “Bart-Mangled Banner,” “Lady Bouvier’s Lover” over “Smart & Smarter,” “A Fish Called Selma” over “The Squirt and the Whale,” “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” over “Dancin’ Homer,” “Bart’s Girlfriend” over “Pokey Mom.”

Coin Flips:

“It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Marge” over “Ice Cream of Margie.”


“Homer’s Triple Bypass” over “Bart Gets an Elephant” – It’s a sweet story and has laugh out loud hilarious moments, like Homer briefly dying in Mr. Burns’ office. It’s terrific.

“Last Exit to Springfield” over “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” – “See My Vest” is arguably the greatest Simpsons song ever (hold this thought), but “Last Exit” is “Last Exit.” We’re done here.

“Treehouse 7” over “Natural Born Kissers” – “Please, I have a wife and kids, eat them!”


Round 3:

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Outright Victories:

“Homer’s Triple Bypass” over “It’s a Mad, Mad,” “Bart Sells His Soul” over “Eternal Moonshine,” “Burns Verkaufen” over “The Computer Wore Menace Shoes,” “Last Exit to Springfield” over “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge,” “King-Sized Homer” over “Treehouse 7,” “A Fish Called Selma” over “Lady Bouvier’s Lover.”


“Homer the Heretic” over “Mr. Plow” – If you were to ask me in person for my favorite Simpsons episode of all time I would most likely say “Mr. Plow.” It just hits me perfectly. But I cannot pass up on the excellence that is “Homer the Heretic,” the most brilliant religion based episode of the series and also home to some of the funniest Homer sequences in the entirety of the show.

“Bart’s Girlfriend” over “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” – The show finally finds a match for Bart in terms of debauchery. Even better, the match is played by Meryl Streep. How awesome is this episode?


Round 4:

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“Homer the Heretic” over “Homer’s Triple Bypass” – The combination of Homer’s day off from church, which becomes the best day of his life, and the fire that almost kills him, are two of the greatest sequences in television history and tear inducingly funny.

“Bart Sells His Soul” over “Burns Verkaufen” – The “Land of Chocolate” scene is incredible, and the episode as a whole is amazing. But the emotional gravity of “Bart Sells His Soul” is almost without equal. The fact that it’s hilarious only improves its case.

“Last Exit to Springfield” over “King-Sized Homer” – “King-Sized Homer” is an absurdly brilliant concept. Homer gains 61 pounds to go on disability. This is a plot that only works on The Simpsons. However, there is no dull moment in “Last Exit to Springfield.” It’s widely accepted as the best episode ever. It isn’t losing now.

“A Fish Called Selma” over “Bart’s Girlfriend” – Remember when we mentioned best Simpsons musical moments? “Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!” is that best moment. Ever. It isn’t close. Seriously the musical alone is better than seasons 18-25 and it’s only a few minutes long.


Round 5:

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“Bart Sells His Soul” over “Homer the Heretic” – The latter is one of the most hilariously executed episodes ever. The former is one of (with “Lisa’s Substitute”) the most brilliantly executed stories ever. It’s extremely tough to pick between them, but the feelings that “Bart Sells His Soul” conjures are too powerful to ignore.

“A Fish Called Selma” over “Last Exit to Springfield” – The Simpsons has never been the same since Troy McClure (and Phil Hartman) left far too early for this world. He was far and away the best recurring character the show had to offer and “A Fish Called Selma” is his feature role. After being featured in every film strip, informational video, and movie in the show he finally gets his time to shine. It ends up as one of the absolute funniest episodes of television history. Every scene is a classic. Troy McClure is a perfect creation, a man without flaw. If anything was going to knock out “Last Exit to Springfield” it would have to be flawless. This episode is flawless thanks to the greatest fictional movie star in history. “Last Exit to Springfield” is always placed at the top of the list for best episodes by default. It’s time to look back and realize that “A Fish Called Selma” is incredibly worthy of the throne.


Round 6:

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“A Fish Called Selma” over “Bart Sells His Soul” – Biggest upset of the tournament thus far. Well, the two biggest now. For the members of The Simpson family we have had 25 years to see them at their best and worst. “Bart Sells His Soul” is Bart’s finest hour, but it’s one of many great episodes Bart has as the pseudo-co-main character. Troy McClure only has one shot, one opportunity to make his time in the spotlight classic. He delivers a thousand times over with some of the funniest lines in the entire show including “I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z.” He’s gone, but not forgotten. He’s also in the final 8.

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Coming tomorrow, the Tire Fire Region