The Simpsons Bracket: Day 7 – Capital Knockers


By: Connor Lenahan

Previously: Moe’s Tavern Region / Nuclear Plant Region / Springfield Elementary Region / Lard Lad Donuts Region / Krusty Burger Region / Kwik-E-Mart Region

Here’s what’s frightening. Today the marathon moves into season 14 of the show. We have now had a full week of Simpsons in our lives without interruption. Now we get another full five days to go. This is a beautiful world we live in. Slowly but surely we are filling out the final eight of the bracket. Today and tomorrow will complete the final round and Friday will find a true winner. Let’s keep going and get our seventh member of the final round in the Tire Fire Region.

As always, the seedings are random and mean nothing, while we also won’t waste time when a classic faces a scrub.

Round 1:

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Outright Victories:

“Pygmoelian” over “Jazzy and the Pussycats,” “Blood Feud” over “Monty Can’t Buy Me Love,” “The Food Wife” over “Replaceable You,” “Mayored to the Mob” over “Chief of Hearts,” “Treehouse 13” over “Treehouse 17,” “Treehouse 4” over “Kill the Aligator and Run,” “Trilogy of Error” over “Treehouse 20,” “Treehouse 2” over “A Totally Fun Thing,” “Homer to the Max” over “Million-Dollar Abie,” “Bart of Darkness” over “Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade,” “Sweet Seymour Skinner” over “Make Room for Lisa,” “Spin-Off Showcase” over “Fat and Furriest,” “A Star is Burns” over “Sherry Bobbins,” “A Milhouse Divided” over “Treehouse 19,” “They Saved Lisa’s Brain” over “Bart to the Future,” “Strummer Vacation” over “Them, Robot,” “Brother From Another Series” over “Lisa Gets an A,” “Bart on the Road,” over “Bart Gets Hit By a Car,” “Homer’s Phobia” over “The Man in Blue Flannel Pants,” “Homer the Vigilante” over “Homer Defined,” “Canine Mutiny” over “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace,” “The Two Mrs. Apus” over “The Way We Weren’t.”

Coin Flips:

“Thank God It’s Doomsday” over “Stealing First Base,” “Diatribe of a Mad Housewife” over “A Midsummer’s Nice Dream,” “My Mother the Carjacker” over “Little Big Mom,” “Caged Bird” over “D’oh-cial Network,” “The Color Yellow” over “My Fair Laddy,” “Treehouse 18” over “He Loves to Fly.”


“The Joy of Sect” over “Dead Putting Society” – There are few things in the world of sports more tense than championship (mini) golf. “Dead Putting Society” is no exception, but there is something so perfect about the Movementarians. I love “The Joy of Sect.”

“Bart’s Comet” over “The Front” – “Bart’s Comet” has a lot of truly great scenes to it. It has much stronger jokes than I remembered before the marathon. It’s terrific.

“The Boy Who Knew Too Much” over “Whacking Day” – I could really go for that giant Rice Krispy square right now.

“Boy-Scoutz” over “Much Apu About Nothing” – Both of these episodes are brilliant, but the edge here falls with “Boy Scoutz” as it has a story that no other show could pull off the same way. Frankly I could change my mind here a thousand times.


Round 2:

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Outright Victories:

“The Joy of Sect” over “Doomsday,” “Pygmoelian” over “Diatribe of a Mad Housewife,” “Bart’s Comet” over “My Mother the Car Jacker,” “Blood Feud” over “Caged Bird,” “Mayored to the Mob” over “The Food Wife,” “Treehouse 13” over “The Color Yellow,” “Treehouse 4” over “Treehouse 18,” “Trilogy of Error” over “Treehouse 2,” “Bart of Darkness” over “Homer to the Max,” “A Star is Burns” over “Spin-Off Showcase,” “Milhouse Divided” over “Boy-Scoutz.”


“The Boy Who Knew Too Much” over “Sweet Seymour Skinner” – This is a really, really close matchup. I happen to love the antagonistic relationship between Bart and Skinner versus the friendly version. Plus, Free Willy Director’s Cut.

“They Saved Lisa’s Brain” over “Strummer Vacation” – There is such a thing as too many guest stars. Sadly, “Strummer” always seems to come off as an event rather than an episode. It’s funny, but it feels a bit odd. I’ll take Lisa being appreciated here.

“Brother from Another Series” over “Bart on the Road” – Sideshow Bob episodes seem to take on a cinematic feel. The show as a whole is elevated. He’s a game changing character. “Bart on the Road” is wonderful, it’s hilarious, but there’s a grandeur to “Brother From Another Series” that is tough to match.”

“Homer the Vigilante” over “Homer’s Phobia” – This really came down to which episode was funnier overall. There are just so many laugh out loud moments from “Homer The Vigilante” to let it fall. The story is sharp and the execution is perfect. Plus Sam Neill is a bit too good as Molloy.

“Canine Mutiny” over “The Two Mrs. Apus” – The relationship between Bart and Santa’s Little Helper is just ridiculous to make this episode great. Plus the way everyone reacts to Laddie is awesome, IE: Homer wearing a tie to breakfast.


Round 3:

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Outright Victories:

“Bart’s Comet” over “Blood Feud,” “Mayored to the Mob” over “Treehouse 13,” “Brother from Another Series” over “They Saved Lisa’s Brain.”


“The Joy of Sect” over “Pygmoelian” – One word: Deprogram-erinos.

“Trilogy of Error” over “Treehouse 4” – It’s admittedly not that fair to “Treehouse 4,” but looking at the next installment in the series shows what a truly perfect “Treehouse” looks like. Meanwhile the stories of “Trilogy of Error” tie together in a wonderfully absurd, funny way. I’ll take the latter for that.

“Bart of Darkness” over “The Boy Who Knew” – As someone who has had leg casts on eight occasions I have unsuccessfully waited for someone to sign it “Milpool.” That joke is absolute gold.

“A Milhouse Divided” over “A Star is Burns” – “I sleep in a racing car, do you?” “I sleep in a big bed with my wife.” Dead. Over.

“Home the Vigilante” over “Canine Mutiny” – I fully admit that, when pondering ideas, I happen to break out into the same hoedown dance that Homer does in this episode. It’s fantastic.


Round 4:

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“Bart’s Comet” over “The Joy of Sect” – For a split second, at least, the entire town coming together to sing “Que Sera Sera” is a beautiful moment of community. Then they all panic as they face almost certain death. It’s touching and funny, a winning combination.

“Trilogy of Error” over “Mayored to the Mob” – Frankly, “Mayored to the Mob” was a product of a weak section of the bracket. “Trilogy of Error” is head and shoulders above here.

“Bart of Darkness” over “A Milhouse Divided” – Maybe it’s because the episode deals extensively with the cabin fever a broken leg causes – something I can relate to extremely well – but I have a soft spot for “Bart of Darkness” and its intense story.

“Brother from Another Series” over “Homer the Vigilante” – The former here does something that only the best of The Simpsons does – it balances the hilarity with plot. The story of “Brother from Another Series” is brilliant with regards to Cecil and his motivation, plus it is funny as hell. That’s a true great.


Round 5:

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“Bart’s Comet” over “Trilogy of Error” – When you really think about it, the plot of “Trilogy of Error” makes just about no sense at all. It’s crazy on purpose but a bit out there by Simpsons standards. Plus, “Hey…shut up” remains one of the greatest throwaway lines in the series.

“Brother from Another Series” over “Bart of Darkness” – It’s not exactly a stretch to say that David Hyde Pierce and Kelsey Grammer have chemistry together – 11 seasons on Frasier – but they are just incredible with each other here. Bob and Cecil are unbelievable, and make for an amazing watch.


Round 6:

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“Brother from Another Series” over “Bart’s Comet” – I’m a sucker for Sideshow Bob. But really, when you have an episode that features the brilliance of things like Cousin Merle alongside the feature film quality plot of Cecil’s devious plan you really get an amazing episode. “Bart’s Comet” is incredible, but it falls just short here.

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Coming tomorrow, The Leftorium Region