The Simpsons Bracket: Day 9 – The Championship
By: Connor Lenahan
Previously: Moe’s Tavern Region / Nuclear Plant Region / Springfield Elementary Region / Lard Lad Donuts Region / Krusty Burger Region / Kwik-E-Mart Region / Tire Fire Region / Leftorium Region
After working on this bracket since last November it was tough to think that the final round of it would ever be here. Today is that day. The final eight is finally here. It’s time to have the strongest of the strong fight it out to become the greatest Simpsons episode of all time. Here we are – The Finals.
“You Only Move Twice” over “Homer the Great” – Of course we start out with two of the most brilliant stories the show has ever had. Homer begins working for a Bond villain and Homer becomes the chosen one to the Stonecutters. This is a hard one to choose between. The edge here is going to fall with “You Only Move Twice” for it’s ability to execute such a complex plot with such brilliant detail in a short amount of time while also being hilarious.
“Lisa’s Substitute” over “Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment” – I cannot say a single bad thing about the latter episode here. The battle between Homer and Rex Banner is perfect and a story that is perfectly catered for The Simpsons. But the ability to make me sob is something that isn’t to be overlooked. The sweetness behind Dustin Hoffman’s words, and the appreciation of Lisa is something that no other episode comes nearly as close to matching.
“Cape Feare” over “A Fish Called Selma” – I am a hysterical mess laughing at “A Fish Called Selma” because I love Troy McClure more than I love members of my own family. However, there is a true terror to “Cape Feare” that is able to fully set in while some of the funniest jokes in history are uttered. That is perfection.
“Homer Goes to College” over “Brother from Another Series” – Sideshow Bob’s best episode is “Cape Feare” without question. The second best is worthy of argument but is most likely “Sideshow Bob Roberts.” That means the third best episode from a recurring character made the final eight. That speaks to Sideshow Bob. That said, it’s the knowledge that better episodes for him, along with “Homer Goes to College” being literally perfect in every way, that knock it out here.
“You Only Move Twice” over “Lisa’s Substitute” – This is just unfair. It’s not acceptable to have to choose between these episodes. They are the pinnacle of television. But the choice has to be made. The choice is “You Only Move Twice” because it needs to be made. Mr. Bergstrom and Hank Scorpio do not have flaws. It was almost a coin flip. It’s really because of how genius the Bond villain plot is and how perfectly it is done. This feels dirty though.
“Cape Feare” over “Homer Goes to College” – Okay seriously I am going to cry. These are two flawless episodes. “Cape Feare” wins for perfect sequences and perfect tone the entire time.
“Cape Feare” over “You Only Move Twice” – Didn’t it have to be “Cape Feare?” I mean, the episode has zero flaws. These two episodes are incredible, but seriously, when you think of perfect Simpsons episodes “Cape Feare” is what comes to mind. Do yourself a favor: do whatever you need to to watch this episode again. It’s the greatest thing you can do with your life. Sideshow Bob makes the show better always. Especially in “Cape Feare,” the greatest Simpsons episode of all time.
Now we are done. We have completed the bracket. Thank you all for entertaining this crazy project.