Juno: The Eve of The Storm

By: Connor Lenahan

Well, it’s not here yet. That’s the main thing. It’s also a good thing. I wouldn’t exactly want to be out in the snow right now, but it could be much worse. That is to say, it could be three hours from now.

Boston got amazing news today that it had been upgraded. No longer was it projected to get between one and two feet of snow. Hooray!

It’s now projected to get between two and three feet.

Not Hooray!

Here’s how bad the snow has gotten: Snowbrawl has been canceled for safety reasons. No, it was not because people would be getting hit in the face with snow, but instead because the wind outdoors would be strong enough to carry a paper airplane around the world thrice. I may be exaggerating, but not by much.

I made sure to stock up on the essentials today: Oreos, mini cereals, nachos, chicken nuggets, soda. All the corner stones of a healthy collegiate diet. People went crazy enough – with great reason – that the Star Market two blocks from my home has no milk nor bread. Tis is because the difference between two and three feet of snow is one of the worst blizzards Boston has ever had and the worst blizzard Boston has ever had. Nemo may end up being the underachieving brother of these two megastorms. Just typing that terrifies me.

Over the next few hours of Playstation/Nintendo 64 competition and Archer watching the snow will continue to fall. It will stack up. The rate at which it increases will explode.

Things only get more crazy from here. Get inside and get excited. The storm is on its way.

Stay tuned to Unbreakable this week for stories from the center of the storm.