Pie Day


By: Connor Lenahan

I do not like math. Math and I are not really friends. Seriously, anything past medium-difficulty algebra made me want to break lamps with a baseball bat until I could be excused from class. I can add, divide, multiply, and subtract, but if you need quadratic expansion done I am not your guy.

Now desserts on the other hand, that’s more my forte. I know today is Pi Day because the date, 3/14/15, is the closest representation to the mathematical Pi, 3.1415, we have, but I don’t care. For me today is Pie Day. It’s always Pie Day. In fact, I’m greatly limiting myself by only making today Pie Day. If the world were a fair and just place then Pie Day would occur twice a week all year long. That’s because pie is flippin’ great.

Admit it, the entire time you’ve been reading this you’ve been distracted by the picture of that Hershey’s Sundae Pie above. You don’t even watermelon pick up when I am putting random words into sentences. Neither am I. Look at that thing. I would devour two full pie’s worth as I’m writing this if it weren’t for the fact I don’t know the location of my closest Burger King.

Enjoy your desserts today. Math finally became useful for something and gifted us a day where you could eat any pie – cherry, apple, chocolate, pumpkin, key lime, lemon, chocolate, Boston Cream, chocolate, or chocolate – without remorse. Today is an amazing day. Bless you all and bless Pie Day.