SAT Nightmares


By: Connor Lenahan

You ever see a story and just immediately start getting nervous? Like, I will see things all the time on the internet that relate to close calls, or jump scares, and things of the like. All of these relate back to that underlying sense that something will go wrong that all semi-paranoid people, like myself, have. I was looking around last night on Gawker and saw something that may or may not have had the blood drain from my body.

First, does anyone actually like the SAT? Their universal approval rating has got to be somewhere in the low single digits. It’s something that everyone has to do, but no one likes getting done. The thought of having your test disappear and thus a make up exam must be taken is right up there with “all my teeth are falling out” and “I’m giving an in-class presentation without clothes” as go to nightmares for anyone that has faced the standardized demon.

With that in mind, hearing that a group of students would need to retake the exam because they were lost in transit back to the College Board was enough to have me double check my room for the boogeyman and any serial killers. This caused physical pain. Just putting myself in the place of any of those students had me feeling like a Jason Voorhees victim.

The largest question is how in the world did this happen? There isn’t a clear answer available, and I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than the alternative. Like, if I were going to be thrown off a cliff I’d want some context for the ensuing ride. That said, the unfortunate soul who messed up the transport likely just saved face beyond belief.

The icing on the cake for the kids? The make up SAT falls on the same week as in-school finals. I’m not really exaggerating when I say this: their principal should buy them all new cars. Or a dinosaur. Something. Because they get to live out our worst nightmare. You will survive, probably. We are here to help, unless it’s with the math section. I’m going to go cry over all the sleep I lost over triangles.