Softball Superstar



By: Connor Lenahan

For a second straight summer I get to play intramural softball with my coworkers here at Boston University. Last year, despite having a slow start I, somehow, ended up with a batting average north of (.400). That’s what we in the business call a “really good average.” I mean, yeah, I did it mainly on ground ball singles, but Ichiro didn’t become a legend by the long ball.

This year will be even better. Tonight I started off with two strong hits – which is to say they went more than eight feet in front of me. I’m hitting (.500) to begin the season and it’s only going to go up from here. This is my year everyone. In a matter of weeks I will make history by being the first man to ever be called up to the majors from a local intramural softball team.

That’s right, you heard it here. By August you’ll be seeing me hitting single after single for the Boston Red Sox. Keep my locker warm, I’m coming.