King Curtis: The Bacon Master

 

By: Connor Lenahan

I’ll come right out and make this simple: this kid Curtis is my soul animal. Holy wow, is this not the most charismatic and incredible child of all time? Seriously, I have maybe said 40 quotes in my life that would deserve remembrance while Curtis says easily that many in this five minute video. From his affinity for chicken nuggets to proclaiming the health benefits of bacon this kid is the greatest thing on the planet. This video was on The Soup maybe 7 years ago and only just came to mind again because of something on Twitter. Let me quit wasting your time, here’s the King in all his glory.

If this kid is not your new role model then I don’t know what to tell you. This is gold, pure gold. Every single bit of it. I’ve got it on repeat. I’m dead. All hail the king and his deep fried regime. May the wealth of his kingdom be as high as his cholesterol. Bow down to his Twinkie throne. His highness needs more dipping sauce.