Spring? Lol Nope


By: Connor Lenahan

Remember Spring Break? Wasn’t that just a wonderful time to be alive? You didn’t have to worry about much of anything. Hell, maybe you even got outside with a t-shirt on. Hand to God, you even wore a pair of shorts one day without feeling super cold. What a grand time that was. I even left my gloves and winter hat at home in Pennsylvania figuring that we were in the clear for the rest of the school year.

Just kidding, it’s gonna snow tonight because the world isn’t fair and everything is evil and awful. Just when you thought you made it through the horror movie, surprise, the killer wasn’t actually dead and he’s coming at you with a Nor’easter and sub-freezing temperatures. Just like Jason Voorhees, this winter won’t die.

Even better? Today is the Vernal Equinox. That means it’s actually spring now.

I know what we must do. We must bring the person responsible for this injustice down.

We must take down Punxsutawney Phil.