I’m The World’s Best Cook

By: Connor Lenahan

Oh that sweet, innocent, clueless, dashingly handsome Connor of Tuesday – unable to cook a simple grilled cheese without nearly burning down his apartment – is no more. In just the handful of days since that fateful maiden voyage of dairy sandwiches I have learned how to cook the most complex meals for any world-class chef.

Just look at that Shake-N-Bake chicken with a side caesar salad that I made earlier tonight. Which is to say I lightly assisted with as my girlfriend Laura LaBrecque did almost all of the work. But I added seasoned salt, and it made the chicken tasty enough that Pope Francis himself would have wept with joy.

I mean, take a look at your boy’s skills with pasta.

That’s fettuccini alfredo with chopped bacon and a baguette. If you’re interested in trying some of my incredible cuisine I will be opening my first restaurant in the Prudential Center downtown this fall.

But now this poses an interesting challenge: What can I challenge myself with now that I am the undisputed cooking champion of the galaxy? There are no current challengers to the throne.

I guess I’m just going to have to start making all those amazing Tasty recipes online.

I will start taking dinner reservations now for my quickly recessing fear of cooking food. Don’t worry Mom, I’m not going to die of starvation after all!