If I Sneeze One More Time…


By: Connor Lenahan

Everyone gets sick when they come back to school, right? This isn’t just a me thing. It can’t be. Each fall you put a bunch of people together in close proximity to each other after they spend a summer with more room to breathe and suddenly germs from around the world combine into a miserable cold that runs through campus. Science people probably think that’s interesting, but I know it makes me want to throw a desk lamp through a 12th story window.

Being sick sucks, this much is true, but I have an added issue. Because of some long standing back issues I have a particularly rough time with sneezes and coughs. Ditto to my ribs. My skeletal system is engineered to perform terribly when I start getting congested. That’s why I’ve spent the majority of the last three days on Tylenol Sinus, Gatorade, and playing Pokemon in bed.

Shrewd readers will realize that this is essentially my normal routine, save the Tylenol. But so help me God if I cough or sneeze one more time tonight I am going to need an emergency Ikea run and some plywood.