Astronaut Ice Cream: Lies


By: Connor Lenahan

Astronaut ice cream was a major feature of school field trips for children across the country. We wanted to be like the heroes that dared to explore out into the vast expanse of outer space. Who amongst us, even if only briefly, didn’t want to be Buzz Aldrin? Or Neil Armstrong? Or, to a much more likely extent, Buzz Lightyear?

You’d go to the gift shop of some museum or place of learning and find this little freeze dried package. You’d think about finding a trinket to purchase with your allowance from your parents that would last a while. A postcard, a mug, or something of the like. But the thought of living out even a slight moment of the final frontier was worth the price and lack of knick knack.

Well I’ve got some breaking news to you – life is a lie, and you shouldn’t ever get your hopes up about anything. Because, no, little impressionable, wide-eyed Connor, who thought that someday he would be able to explore the Moon in his Outer-Space-Mobile was being fed a tale as false as anything else in this world.

Do we really know what causes the weather? How does math? Do the people of Vox have nothing better in this world than to shatter my illusion of beauty that exists in this world? Do we really have free will? How do we know anything anymore?

These are dark times indeed.